Strength & Dignity Course, Session 1 & 2

I read my answers from two months ago, I found two people I really respect. Both women have quiet and strong boundaries, both put God first and foremost, they care for themselves and are excellent wives of me who also live as Biblical husbands.
#1 Those with no boundaries I find I have little respect for, they seem to have little or no substance, and I realize how others see me and understand how I came to being abused and walked over. How can I lead others to God if people refuse to trust and respect me and what I have to say?
#2 I am avoiding rule breakers, I left the #1 rule breaker 7 weeks and 5 days ago. My tears are lessening and my peace is growing. He broke all the rules, adulterating, refusing to work and living off the system, expecting me to work and hand over all the money, saying what he wanted to me and laughing in my face when I cried, he was cruel, very cruel. My parents also are rule breakers and put themselves before God and their children, always have. Alcohol, money and drugs were/are their god. It lead to a very abusive and confusing life. My lack of boundaries has led to a life of people feeling they can dictate my schedule and what I will do and how and when with little or no regard for my personal feelings.
#3 Do I have boundaries? No, but I am setting some up, I have female Pastoral care and counsellors here in this women’s home, I am in good hands and learning so much. I have to be gentle with myself and understand they are teaching me to be strong in God! I have small boundaries, and yesterday I actually said “no” to something I really did not want to do. I was so proud of myself. Today I asked for help with an impossible task instead of suffering to do it myself.
#4 I easily let others trample my boundaries, I am still working on that one.
#5 Lack of boundaries destroyed my relationship! If I had had boundaries I would not have attracted a predator, if I had had good boundaries I would not have fallen for someone whose end goal was to control and manipulate me and abuse me.
#6 Boundaries is a system of self preservation, self respect, self awareness. Boundaries prevent others from controlling and abusing me in any way unless I allow it. EXPECTATIONS is where I expect you to accept my boundaries and respect them. You cannot expect anyone to behave or think how you want them.
Boundaries is where you end and I begin; where I end and you begin. A defined wall. Expectations is you accepting me as I am, or walking away.


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