I’m sorry if that last assignment was painful to do. Thinking about “boundary
breakers” can make us feel violated if it is someone close to us. Know that God
keeps all these tears in a bottle, and they are precious to Him.
I’m guessing you are starting to see some things about yourself in the areas of
boundaries. You’re discovering where you break boundaries with others and
yourself and opportunities to establish some new boundaries.
I know when I was a young mom, I didn’t seem to have any boundaries – I wore
myself out, didn’t ask for help, and in the long run, it effected everyone. Those
“small” decisions I made that seemed loving at the time cost us all a lot in the long
run. But you know what? Even though I wouldn’t do things now the way I did
them then, I’m still grateful for the experiences – God will use it all – so don’t
spend one single second on regret. You are here NOW because there is a season
and a time for everything. This is “the Now” you are supposed to be in.
Something we need to really understand before we move forward too far is this:
boundaries are something we do for ourselves to protect and to create joy while
honoring God. We also need to understand that boundaries are NOT:
parental, where we start acting like someone else’s mother
punishment, where we are “disciplining” someone else
controlling, so we can get what we want
Boundaries are based in Biblical truths of healthy relationships. They are also not
going to protect us or lead us to joy 100% of the time.
Boundaries are Biblical – Jesus Christ talked extensively about boundaries. He
chose when to reveal Himself to Herod and others, He left an angry crowd, He
rested when He was tired, and pulled away from the masses to be alone with the
Father. He made choices that were good for Him and followed God (creating and
holding to His boundaries while obeying God) even when tempted by Satan!
Notice Jesus’ boundaries did NOT put Him on the throne. Ours should not, either.
Nor should they be parental, inflict a punishment, or be controlling.
Here’s a few of Jesus’ thoughts about boundaries:
Protecting Prayer Time: “But when you pray, go into your room, close the
door and pray to your Father, who is unseen” (Matthew 6:6).
Be Honest, Clear and Concise: “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’
‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).
Serve God First: “No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the
one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the
other” (Luke 16:13).
Please God, Not People: “How can you believe if you accept praise from
one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes from the
only God?” (John 5:44), “But Peter and the apostles replied, “We must obey
God rather than people.” (Acts 5:29)
Obey God: “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one
who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will
love him and show myself to him” (John 14:21).
God Sets Boundaries to Protect and Grow Us: “Every branch in me that
does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he
prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” (John 15:2)
Today’s assignment takes 22 minutes. As you think about boundaries in general,
set a timer for 22 minutes and complete a task around your home or at your
workplace. Maybe you will do something you have been putting off. Get as much
done as you can in 22 minutes.
You can repeat this assignment as often as you like. Think about the verses above
and how Jesus applied boundaries to His life if the task you are working on
doesn’t require a lot of mental capacity. Know this activity isn’t so much about
getting the work done, but the way you feel AFTER you do it. Pay attention to
*WARNING: Remember… If you have not established boundaries in your
marriage and suddenly do so, your husband will likely feel betrayed and confused.
His trust in you may be seriously broken. We’ll talk about how to start setting up
boundaries in your marriage in a way that helps you move forward and lessens
the risks involved – be patient, we’re laying groundwork! 🙂
We’ll talk soon.
Love to you,