Respect Dare lesson 3 – BB

Introspection: Biblical Wife

  • I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.  Jeremiah 17:10 NIV

No two marriages are created to be the same. What works in one will fail in another.

Personal Assessment:

1.Discipline:

  • do i spend consistent time in prayer? Daily, yes, consistent, no
  • do i read the bible frequently? yes daily
  • do I make decisions based on what i think would please God? I try, but I fall short.
  • Is my heart filled with gratitude with all that God has done for me? yes and I wish He would do more, so no – I do not want to lie, God knows
  • Do I live my life for God, or am I more concerned about what other people think? OUCH, other people, I have to overcome this!
  • Am I more concerned with being holy or being happy? Holy

2.Household manager:

  • Are things “under control”at home (laundry, dishes, cleaning, ets.) Yes
  • Is out home a comfortable relaxing place for our family? Not always, I complain too much and feel under stress at his criticism
  • Am I able to do what God calls me to do in my home without excessive stress to its appearance? No, worry about hair being found, worry about water drops on either sink, straighten the couch cushions, put the dish strainer the right way, make the bed without wrinkles, faucets aren’t shiny, vacuum the kitchen, pillows straightened, dust, oh no….more hair!
  • am i comfortable when people come by unannounced? clean wise – yes, personal space wise – no
  • am i organized in my time management, and do i comfortably and effectively handle multiple responsibilities. yes, sometimes no if I worry about how he will react to the order i do things

3.Communicator:

  • am i concise in my communication, or do i ramble and go off on tangents? Tangents! Ramble!
  • am i considered a good listener? yes
  • do i speak the “language of respect” to my husband unconditionally? no
  • does my husband confide in me? NO
  • do i handle disagreements well and yet get my point across without upsetting others? no
  • am i critical or sarcastic when speaking to my husband? sometimes, he is sarcastic to me
  • do i ever criticize my husband in public? never
  • do i often get emotional or judgmental when my husband opens up to me? yes
  • do i regularly point out things others do well? yes
  • do others perceive me as a positive person or a complainer? positive

4.Confident and assured woman:

  • am i considered a confident person? no, insecure
  • do people perceive me as arrogant or aggressive, timid or fearful? timid and aggressive
  • do i feel courageous enough to do what God wants me to do? yes, if I know what it it is
  • do i have a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline or do i have a spirit of fear and timidity? fear and timidity
  • do i worry about what the future will bring? yes!
  • do i know God’s purposes for my life and trust that He will help me succeed? I do NOT know God;s purpose for my life, I have to trust Him, I really mess up on my own
  • am i confident in initiating intimacy? only if i offer oral, i get rejected and my confidence is gone
  • do i feel the need to manipulate others, or am i confident? not confident, I manipulate
  • do i handle life’s challenges and problems gracefully? no, I complain and whine and get a sympathy panel of friends going
  • does my husband have confidence in me? yes

So, what about you?

  • how do you feel doing the evaluation? ok, i see some things i am not proud of.
  • where do you think those feelings came from? my lack of self worth, i am most critical of myself. I am sure if I learned to speak well that Ed would be fine with me
  • can those feelings be trusted? feelings are fickle, see there i go manipulating and not straight forward answering.
  • what are the two aspects from above that you feel most lead to improve upon at this time?     Know god’s plan and follow it without fear of reactions of others and communication skills and emotional stability and secure in myself
  • what would happen if you were able to grow significantly in those two aspects during the next forty days? I would be at more peace, others would want to be around me more and understand me more.
  • what would that mean for your relationships with God and you husband? those would be deeper relationships. Secure

Dear Lord, help me see my way through to the growth You desire. Change me and my life. Equip me and grow in me in the area of respectful communication with my husband.

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