Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you – Ephesians 4:32 :: Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man. – Proverbs 3:3-4 :: She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. – Proverbs 31:26
“Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience is a preventative and avoids a problem; kindness is proactive and creates a blessing. Kindness can be broken down into four basic parts: Initiative, Gentleness, Helpfulness, and Willingness. Initiative is kindness thinking ahead, then taking the first step, no request required. See the need and do first. Gentleness is care how you treat your spouse, being sensitive and tender. Helpfulness is meeting the needs of the moment, discover the need of your spouse and step up to fill them, even putting your needs on hold. Willingness is staying cooperative and flexible, looking for creative ways to accommodate and adjust rather than confronting or making excuses. Love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward.
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness. What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you so in this dare? How did you show kindness? How can you make this a daily habit?”
I was quiet as I got up, allowing my husband to sleep, I read the Bible Ezekiel 36, I prayed and started my day. I was quiet so my husband could watch TV and made sure the tea kettle was hot. I did not assume he wanted tea vs coffee, as he sometimes does. I changed the bed and got laundry going after he took his shower, he likes to shower first. Then I took my shower and heard him leave. I started to panic, as he had never done this before, but used to do this with his ex wife. I settled down, showered and assumed there would be a note. There was none. I began to panic again and cried and prayed, then quieted and asked God for wisdom. Should I call or not? God gave me the right words in a calm tone, “I was worried when I saw you were not home and there was no note.” My husband was helping a 91 year old friend and was touched I was worried. I made a nice lunch and have the table set ready for lunch, dinner is leftovers, so it is a matter of heating it up. The rest of the day went quietly and nicely; and then came evening. We went to evening service and then to eat after. We do this with a church group weekly. Today my husband’s teen granddaughter, young grandson, and son joined us, it was wonderful. My daughter was going to come, but forgot, and I had looked forward to seeing my toddler grandson. A woman showed up who had wrongly accused my husband of coming on to her and I started to feel anger rise. My husband smiled and waved at her, trying to keep peace, I was irked but OK. In the car on the way to pizza he played one of our granddaughter’s radio stations and there was a “spank her booty” song on; I turned the volume down and he turned it up. I said the song was disgusting and turned it down. He turned it off and made a comment to me that hurt my feelings and our granddaughter laughed and made the same comment to me. I was fuming, I waited until we had a quiet moment before entering the pizza place and asked him not to make fun of me in front of others. It did not go well, he was upset that I was sensitive. At the pizza place he allowed our grandson to buy a whole sub, even though he continually only eats a half and we are financially strapped; and then bought his mother a gallon of milk for a child she has at home. I was fuming by that point. My usband had much earlier mentioned how I buy my kids and then turns around and does the same. I brought it up at home and he kept saying “drop it, go to sleep.” I dropped it, but I am frustrated that this happens. Today I just didn’t say anything, he is quiet and withdrawn. He may be having a bad time of it for another reason, and I am blaming myself. Of course as I tried to sleep, just about everything he has done to upset me played over in my mind. Yes, I said nothing. I am fuming, though.